


Soft Words of Humble Speak

by bearinapotatosack



Series: TrekTober2020 [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, Caretaking, Crossover, Depression, Emotionally Hurt Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Leonard "Bones" McCoy, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Sleep, Star Trek: AOS, Trektober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27108379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearinapotatosack/pseuds/bearinapotatosack
Summary: They found something they never thought they'd see. Themselves, from the late Ambassador Spock's universe.~~Leonard McCoy gets a good talking to by Leonard McCoy~~TrekTober2020- Day 17- Other Trek Crossover
Series: TrekTober2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947193
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39
Collections: Trektober 2020





	Soft Words of Humble Speak

His hands tensed around the PADD, another death, another life he couldn't save. Sickbay hurried around him, nurses running to and fro, doctors collecting in small groups, looking over PADDs. 

  
He sighed, letting his head fall into his hands as he took a few moments to process the last few hours.

* * *

It had been a strange day, a major ion storm had prevented them from delivering well needed supplies to a new Starfleet colony. They had eight hours to get to the colony, if not, it could be another Tarsus IV.

  
Jim had been on edge ever since they received the emergency mission, he'd paced the ship dozens of times, eaten until he was sick and bitten his fingernails until they were blunt. 

  
His anxieties were only heightened when the Transporter started malfunctioning and engine power decreased so much, they were stuck in the middle of deep space. He'd pushed every aspect of the ship in his control to its limit, sending countless engineering crew to sickbay and even pushing Scotty to, respectfully, insult the Captain.

  
They had spent five hours fully stationary when the Transporter made the familiar sounds of someone beaming up.

  
After running to investigate, they found something they never thought they'd see. Themselves, from the late Ambassador Spock's universe.

  
From there, everything had gone into overdrive, with two of almost every main officer, it was chaotic. There were a few positives, new ideas, more staff with different knowledge and, before they knew it, they were racing across the cosmos towards the emergency.

  
There had been no calm when they arrived, however. Starving people in desperate need of care and raving leaders forgetting their duty was with the people. 

  
Everyone was occupied. Most senior staff, especially both versions of Uhura, were busy contacting Starfleet and easing the palpable tension that filled the atmosphere like fog. Sickbay was instantly filled, surgeries one after the other, minor ailments filling up the corridors and overflow wards and every possible room available on the two floors being full. 

  
Leonard was losing his cool. He hadn't eaten since their counters arrived, had barely drank anything that wasn't coffee or those sickly energy drinks. His feet were aching and his body swayed, head began to fuzz as the headache he'd been putting off with painkillers hit him. 

  
His body gave up and started to crumple in on itself just as a pair of warm and familiar hands caught him as he fell. 

  
"Woah there, son," His counterpart said, helping him get steady again as he put down the PADD and led him towards his office. "You need to rest for a while,"

  
Together, they managed to make their way towards the sofa that lay against the right hand wall, perpendicular to his desk. He sat down with a groan and rubbed his forehead as Bones poured him a glass of water and prepared him some pasta from the replicator.

  
They waited around in silence for a moment, listening to the far off conversations and happenings of sickbay. He was still processing the day's events, particularly the way he acted in that other universe. 

  
Some of the uncanny differences were the fact that he was older on their five year mission, his Joanna was born earlier too. There was a soft happiness that radiated from him, even when they arrived at the crisis and were slowly overwhelmed. Maybe it was because he'd had more time to process the tragedies of his life, the divorce, his dad dying. It had opened up a lot of old wounds, seeing a version of himself so put together, having learnt from all his wrongdoings and not letting himself be defined by them.

  
"Eat." Bones slammed down a plate of food, breaking off his train of thought. "God knows when you last did that,"

  
He picked up the fork, it felt heavy in his hand, and started eating. The food was both delicious and meaningless mush in his mouth. His mind had gone from emergency mode to rational thinking as soon as he'd sat down. This happened every time a crisis ended, and every time he promised himself he wouldn't push himself this far.

  
"Do you do this during every red alert?" His counterpart asked. He settled next to him and sipped his own glass of water, lifting his hand to gently rub his back as he ate.

  
"Pretty much," Leonard said, there was no use lying to himself.

  
"Dear god, no wonder you're in such a bad place,"

  
He stopped eating for a second and turned to look at him, "How am I in a bad place? I'm doing a lot better than I used to," 

  
"How are you doing better?" His voice was calm and steady, while Leonard's was getting tighter and harsher.

  
"Well," He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm not an active alcoholic anymore, and I try and eat three times a day, and I try and have downtime with my friends twice a week, and I don't do all nighters writing reports,"

  
He could feel Bones' gaze on his head as he lowered it to look at his feet, which he'd crossed on the sofa beneath him. 

  
"I mean, maybe I can't get out of bed some days, and maybe this has made me late to my shift a few times, big deal," He wriggled in his seat and picked at the skin around his nails. "And I guess I don't shower at all some weeks, and I don't really have any hobbies, I don't really feel like I'm here sometimes,"

  
Bones opened his mouth to say something, but Leonard jumped in with, "But I don't cry every night, I sometimes exercise and try to tidy up and do all my reports and-"

  
"Feel nothing while you're doing it?"

  
Leonard panicked, his mouth ran dry, palms went clammy and he couldn't speak a word. 

  
"Haven't actually, whole heartedly, freely laughed in god knows when?"

  
He nodded.

  
"Struggle to remember, don't find anything enjoyable, wonder why it isn't getting better when it was supposed to?"

  
Leonard felt the tears pour over onto his cheeks as he nodded continuously, his head falling onto Bones' shoulder as every little thing he'd been holding in for years fell out of him in one go. 

  
Bones quietly hushed him, hand consistently circling the worn tunic he was wearing. He had meant to scrub out, but another landing party had come up with the usual scrapes, bruises and broken bones, and he'd been flurried away to help them. 

  
"This isn't healthy," Bones continued. "I can't say that I'm the pinnacle of health, physical or mental, but, I know that bottling up even your basic emotions isn't good,"

  
Leonard didn't dare to raise his head, it felt too heavy with foreboding thoughts.

  
' _You can't open up, it'll scare people,'_

  
' _You can't trust him, you've dealt with this for years, you don't need his help'_

  
' _You can't handle life now, if you open up and change, then you'll have more to do, you won't be able to handle it'_

  
He felt two hands on his shoulders, shaking him lightly as he blinked and remembered where he was. His breath was coming out shorter as he heard distant instructions, telling him to breathe and only focus on that.

  
It was a few more minutes, or it could've been hours, before he fully came back to himself. He felt his stomach gurgle and he reached for the cold bowl of pasta, shakily shoveling mouthfuls in.

  
Bones looked at him and smiled sadly, sympathy and empathy twinkling in his blue eyes. He stood up, going to receive a blanket from a drawer before sitting down and smothering his body in it.

  
"Now, you're going to have a nap in here, trusting your staff to sort out the few people who remain in sickbay," He instructed, tucking the edges of the blanket under him as he reached for a PADD.

  
"But I nee-"

  
"No arguing, just napping," 

  
He sighed and closed his eyes, letting his forehead relax and loosening his body. A subtle headache had just formed, from the aftermath of his tears and breakdown. The darkness came quickly after that, the last thing he remembered being him dropping into the lap of the counterpart.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a few days late but I forgot and wanted to write something so badly that I couldn't miss it, I might even make more like these.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this, if you did leave a kudos and a comment!


End file.
